3 Ways to Kick a Bad Mood – ETR

“There will be good days and bad, which means that some days I may be cranky and some days really cranky !”

Peter Jennings

How to Conquer Your Greatest Creativity-Killer

By Clayton Makepeace

Despite all the great things going on in my life, I began feeling a little down in the dumps last week.

That’s not good. For creative folks like me – and for all marketing pros – depression can be a career killer.

When you’re depressed, your energy flees, your focus fuzzes up, your creativity goes AWOL – and if you don’t do something about it (and quick!), your income craters and your reputation and career chase it right down the tubes.

In short, depression is one of the costliest business problems any of us ever deal with!

Conversely, the ability to identify and neutralize depression quickly are two of the most valuable skills any entrepreneur or marketer could possibly acquire. They empower you to add scores more productive and profitable hours, days, and weeks to your year.

In my experience, depression comes from three places…

1. Too many drugs, so little time

When I say “drugs,” I’m referring to my three personal favorites: (1) Grey Goose, (2) Starbucks, and (3) Marlboro Lights.

Once upon a time, I could pretty much party for 48 hours straight and never pay the piper. I could do Friday and Saturday at Sloppy Joe’s, ride the 14 or 15 hours home from Key West, and still show up for work bright and bushy-tailed first thing Monday morning.

These days, not so much. My 54-year-old body demands at least 72 hours to get over a weekend like that. And it puts me through a period of pretty intense chemical mopery before my wife, friends, total strangers, the local constabulary, my lawyer, and my creative muse begin speaking to me again.

Goes without saying: Losing 72 hours of creative time each week would make it nearly impossible for me to continue living the comfortable life to which I’ve become accustomed. And so I’ve been forced into a life of relative abstinence – punctuated, of course, by the occasional not-so-graceful swan dive off the wagon at vacation time.

Caffeine and nicotine are something else altogether. I can’t walk, speak, or think until I’ve had a couple of mugs of Joe in the morning. Problem is, it’s 2:00 p.m. before I know it, and by then, my get-up-and-go has got up and skedaddled.

And of course, it’s even worse if I’m inhaling nicotine – an infamous depressant – with all that coffee.

What’s the solution? The dreaded “M” word: Moderation.

On the plus side, there is a mood-brightening drug I can’t recommend highly enough – one that I absolutely hate getting.

I’m talking about endorphins. You get them by doing exercise: swimming, walking, running, that kind of stuff.

Work out for two weeks in the morning before you go to work, and you’ll be absolutely amazed at how much happier you are, how much more productive you become, and how much more moolah you rake in!

2. Lies your brain tells you

Has some terrible thing happened that gives you the right to be depressed? The promotion you just knew would make you a gazillion bucks flopped flatter than a flapjack? You’re broker than a sailor after shore leave, and the bill collectors are calling non-stop?

Hey – I’ve been there. It sucks.

But it doesn’t mean you have to suffer from depression-related brain-block, too!

The fact is, you get to choose how you feel in response to just about anything that happens to you.

See, everything that happens to you passes through a little “belief filter” in your brain – a conviction you’ve come to hold about yourself and/or the world around you.

These filters can be positive – as in “I’m brilliant,” “I’m a winner,” “I always come out smelling like a rose”…

… or they can be negative – as in “I’m a dope, a fraud,” “I’m a loser,” “Everything I touch turns to crapola.”

Here’s the golden key: Nearly all the belief filters we have are utter nonsense.

The objective truth is, nobody is always a winner or a loser… creative or dull… brilliant or a dunce.

So the next time depression has you creatively hog-tied, try this…

First, identify the negative thought that triggered your lousy mood.

Then, ask yourself, “Is that thought valid?” (99.9% of the time it is not!)

And then ask yourself, “Is the belief filter that triggered that negative thought valid?” (Again: Almost never.)

Finally, ask yourself, “How should I change that belief about myself and/or the world to bring it in line with reality?”

You’ll be amazed at how quickly even the lousiest mood evaporates in the blinding light of the objective truth.

3. Self-obsession

I learned this simple fact of life many years ago – and re-learn it all the time. In fact, you could say it was my guiding principle for launching The Total Package e-zine last year.

The simple fact is, when my focus is on others’ well-being, I’m happier.

Conversely, I notice that when I’m trying to find things that will make me happy – new toys, vacations, etc. – I’m actually less happy.

So where’s your focus? Are you obsessed with your own feelings and the state of your life? If so, there’s a good chance those feelings are not positive ones.

Try doing something to improve someone else’s life today. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your mood lifts!

[Ed. Note: Clayton Makepeace has spent the last 35 years creating direct-mail, Internet, and print promotions that have sold well over $1 billion worth of products. Plus, as a direct-marketing consultant and copywriter, he's helped four major direct-marketing firms at least quadruple sales and profits to well over $100 million per year each. Clayton publishes the highly acclaimed e-zine The Total Package (www.makepeacetotalpackage.com) to help business owners and copywriters accelerate their sales and profits. Check it out.

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to making money, improving health and secrets to success. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

Download Yourself a Free De-Stress Kit

Just downloaded the pdf and the mp3 – looks good. Point number 10 reminds me of a friend of mine who’s just learning not to do this – ‘comparing the present to the past’ – he’s got real trouble letting go of his ‘great times’ in the 1980’s … all I remember is Margaret Thatcher … and if you don’t want to wait for the video to finish here’s the link: De-Stress Kit

Regards – Carl

De-Stress Kit for the Changing Times – Free Download

And the Award Goes to … Marci Shimoff post

“We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are.”

- Honore de Balzac

And the Award Goes to…

By Marci Shimoff

Does the idea of standing in front of a mirror and appreciating your positive qualities feel uncomfortable and stupid? It did to me – which was a sign that I really needed to try it.

I learned this mirror exercise in 1990, when I took a weeklong course on self-esteem from my mentor, Jack Canfield. Jack assigned the exercise as homework every night, saying, “Make sure you do this behind a closed door so nobody walks by and thinks you’re crazy.”

Each night, my roommate and I took turns going into the bathroom, shutting the door, and whispering sweet nothings to our reflections: “You’re kind.” “You’re loyal.” “You have a loving heart.”

The first night, I felt like a California New Age woo-woo nutcase. And soon I experienced a rush of sadness. I was an expert at criticizing myself – but why was it so hard to say nice things?

With practice, it gradually became easier to come up with reasons to love myself: “You’re smart.” “You go out of your way to help others.” And so on. But the real power of this exercise came when I learned to express appreciation for myself for no reason – to look myself in the eye and simply love who I was, unconditionally.

If you’re like most people, consciously recognizing the positive about yourself may feel conceited. After all, we’re raised not to “toot our own horn.” So we end up not giving ourselves credit or acknowledgment – or, worse, beating ourselves up. That shuts down our hearts, contracts our energy, and decreases our happiness levels.

While doing the research for my book Happy for No Reason, I interviewed scores of scientists, as well as 100 unconditionally happy people. (I call them the Happy 100.) One of the things I discovered is that truly happy people have a compassionate, encouraging, and validating attitude toward themselves. This isn’t arrogance or self-centeredness. It’s an appreciation and acceptance of who they are.

Learning to see the positive about yourself starts by changing your brain’s habit of focusing on your negative experiences and, instead, inclining your mind toward joy.

So today, begin registering your happy experiences more deeply – consciously looking for them. You can make it into a game. Have the intention to notice everything good that happens to you. Anything you see, feel, taste, hear, or smell that brings you joy. A “win,” a breakthrough, an “Aha!” moment, or an expression of your creativity. The list goes on and on.

This intention triggers the reticular activating system (RAS), a group of cells at the base of your brain stem responsible for sorting through the massive amounts of incoming information and bringing anything important to your attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly started noticing the same make of car everywhere? It’s the RAS at work. Now you can use it to be happier. When you decide to look for the positive, your RAS makes sure that’s what you see.

Adelle, one of the Happy 100, told me about a unique method she has for registering the positive. As she goes about her day, she gives away awards in her mind: the best-behaved dog, the most colorful landscape design at a fast-food drive-through, the most courteous driver. This keeps her alert to the beauty and positivity that is all around her. Charmed by the idea, I tried it myself. I liked it so much, I’ve been giving out these “Happiness Oscars,” as I call them, ever since.

Once you notice something positive, take a moment to savor it consciously. Take in the good experience deeply and feel it. Make it more than just a mental observation. If possible, spend about 30 seconds soaking up the happiness you feel. If you want to accelerate your progress, take time every day to write down a few of your wins, breakthroughs, and things you appreciate about others – and about yourself.

You’ll know you’ve mastered this when you can give yourself an Academy Award for outstanding achievement in true happiness!

[Ed. Note: Marci Shimoff is the author of the New York Times bestseller Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy From the Inside Out, which offers a revolutionary approach to experiencing deep and lasting happiness. The woman's face of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a featured teacher in The Secret, Marci is an authority on success, happiness, and the law of attraction. To order Happy for No Reason, newly released in paperback, and receive free bonus gifts, go to www.happyfornoreason.com/mybook.

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to making money, improving health and secrets to success. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

Publications from Marci Shimoff ...

Journal Your Stress Away

Stress (and all the emotions that contribute to stress) can look like a confusing mass of unwanted sensory signals that block our ability to remember things and persuade our logical minds we’re in ‘the wrong’.  Writing things down, both about the content of our emotional responses and the process we see unfolding when we experience our stresses can show us that there actually is a logic to it all.

When we feel stressed probably the last thing we want to do is sit down and write about it – but it can actually be key to ‘agreeing with ourselves’ as opposed to getting tangled up in self-criticism.  Behind every strong negative emotional response there’s a perfectly valid ‘good’ motivation – usually, anyway.  Journalling is an affective tool for self-discovery and for releasing emotional issues (if I get really annoyed about something my most effective technique is to sit down and write a ‘formal letter’ outlining all the details of the situation – then I keep it to one side for a while and decide later whether or not to send it).

Hope you enjoy the article below from Doreene Clement.

Regards – Carl

Journal Your Stress Away

By Doreene Clement

Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a journal or diary, is a proven method to relieve stress and improve well being. The expression achieved through writing in a journal on a regular basis, or during times of high stress, helps to clarify and focus what we are actually feeling and experiencing. Putting down on paper what we are frustrated about, worried and concerned with, helps us to begin to understand in a clearer, more concise manner, what we are going through. That understanding can help us to realize what actions we can then take to work through the stress.

Journaling on a regular basis about daily events, joys, and struggles alike, can actually help us to face our day, and solve our problems with less stress. When we record our days on paper, or on the computer, we are processing our feelings, fears and joys, as we are writing.

To help with the stress in our days we can create a routine and journaling system for ourselves. Ask yourself a daily morning question upon rising. This becomes a check into the day question, and writing the answer down, can be a great way to focus the day. For Example – “What am I going to do today that will support just me?” Or – “What am I going to do today at my work, (or with friends, or family), that is different than I have done before?” Another idea – “What one thing do I want to accomplish today that I have not had time to do?” We can ask the same question each day, or ask a new question.

We can also create a journal to record what we need to keep doing, stop doing, do less of, or more of. For example – “I need to stop playing old broken records from my past that no longer apply and no longer serve me. I am enough. I do not have to live in fear. We can journal on that topic alone, until it feels finished.”

Another journaling idea is to define what is causing the stress: Whatever or whomever.

For example – “Bob really bugs me when he misses deadlines.”

Or – “I never have enough time to fit it all in, family, friends, work, fun.”

Or – “I am in way over my head on this project.”

Next in your journal write about and define the why.

“When Bob misses deadlines it makes me look bad. I can’t enjoy my weekends when Bob has a project due on Monday, because I keep worrying Bob won’t come through.”

Then ask why again to those answers, and write them down.

“I hate to look bad in front of my peers. It is embarrassing to me. I don’t like to be embarrassed. I don’t need/deserve that.”

Then ask why again. Keep writing, then asking why to thoseanswers. What can be found is the real reason(s) for the stress. After the reason(s) are revealed then processing the root of the stress is easier to address. Then journal about those feelings.

Journaling is something we can all give to ourselves. Find a quiet time in the day, and a quiet place to journal. Set the journal where you will see it every day. Using a notebook, a blank book, a favorite journal, or a computer, any of these all serve as outlets for expression of stress. Through journaling we use that outlet of expression to help us see, process and

understand our stress. Through journaling the toll stress takes can be reduced or eliminated.

Copyright Doreene Clement All Rights Reserved

About the Author: Doreene Clement, a cancer victor and author of The 5 Year Journal, is currently writing a new book, Blessed, about her life and her cancer experience. For more information www.the5yearjournal.com 480.423.8095 Copyright 2005 OMDC, LLC All Rights Reserved
Feel free to pass this along to your friends. About Journaling, www.the5yearjournal.com

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=4589&ca=Self+Help

Journalling books on Amazon …

Bad Stress to Eustress Article ..

A while back I was on the way to the gym when a group of youths decided to give me some verbal abuse as I cycled by … one of the best workouts I’ve ever had … thanks guys!

Do you have a favourite way of turning bad stress into eustress? Please leave a comment below.

Regards – Carl

Good Stress is Not an Oxymoron: Don’t Take Stress Management Too Far Or You’ll Die of Boredom

By Elisabeth Kuhn

We know all about the negative effects of stress, including everything from heart disease to diabetes to divorce to insomnia to suicide. Given all the bad press stress gets, it’s easy to believe that stress is an evil that must be purged from our lives at all cost.

We continually seek out the latest in stress management techniques to achieve a less stressful life. To some degree, this is a good idea – constant negative stress should be reduced whenever possible. However, there’s another side to stress – a positive side that’s frequently overlooked.

Mental health professionals and doctors even have a name for positive stress: “eustress”. Eustress refers to the constructive stress that helps keep you motivated and driven in all aspects of your life. For example, an athlete may find a big game stressful, but the nerves and excitement of this eustress encourages him or her to push harder and play better.

In this case, stress is a temporary response that brings about positive changes – such as the drive to play better. This is a very different phenomena than a long-term type of stress that eats away at the athlete’s health and well-being.

So maybe you’re not a world-class athlete – that doesn’t mean you don’t experience eustress in your own life. Maybe you get the same rush from performing in a community theater presentation or use the boost of stress to help inject energy into an important presentation at work. Perhaps you’re someone who turns the stress of gaining weight into an impetus to spend more time at the gym.

Having a small amount of stress in our lives drives us to excel in everything we do and it enables us to feel content with life and the choices we’ve made. Therefore, getting rid of stress entirely is not only impossible – it wouldn’t be healthy to do anyways!

We also need small amounts of stress in our lives to respond to the various threats and dangers we occasionally encounter. In this case, stress is part of the fight-or-flight response – a holdover from our primitive ancestors. When we detect the presence of danger, our bodies kick into high gear.

They release the hormone cortisol which increases the level of sugar in our blood. Our breathing rate increases and oxygen fills our muscles in preparation to either fight the threat or flee from it. Without this physiological response, we wouldn’t be able to defend ourselves nearly as well against all sorts of dangers and intrusions.

While it’s clear that too much stress can wreak havoc with your overall health, doctors and mental health specialists have found that too little stress can also be harmful. Negative stress causes a wide range of emotional and physical problems that can inhibit your energy and drive.

On the other hand, as long as it’s reasonable and not excessive, a certain amount of stress plays a positive role in helping us fulfill our dreams and in enabling us to protect ourselves in times of danger. This eustress can give you the determination that’s needed to work long and hard to accomplish your goals and will better equip you to handle the negative stress in your life.

About the Author: And if you want to achieve a little bit more balance between good and bad stress, you are invited to get Elisabeth Kuhn’s FREE report with seven stress-reducing strategies. If you want Elisabeth’s full-sized version instead, with lots more strategies (including an introduction to EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique), here’s instant stress relief.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=268162&ca=Wellness%2C+Fitness+and+Diet

3 Surefire Strategies to Look and Feel Better

This author’s talking directly to me today – I’ve been rushing around like a bluebottle all week and haven’t been to the gym for a week and a half and feel pretty yuk. You know, it’s a fact I’ve noticed with Holistic Therapy tutors at work that they all look ready for the ‘knackers yard’ as they rush around trying to teach everyone else how to get every one else relaxed.

I gotta chill and get me to the gym more. Please go check out this lady’s site. I’m off there now myself – but do it slowly.

Regards – Carl

3 Surefire Strategies to Look and Feel Better
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Diana_Fletcher]Diana Fletcher

Stop doing so much… Stop trying to do so much… Stop believing you can do so much

You truly believe deep down that you can do everything you want to, don’t you? If you just can find the right system, make enough detailed lists, organize and strategize in the most skillful way, you will get everything done once and for all. But you can’t, it is not possible in this fast-moving world for us to keep up. So if you truly want to feel better and look better, you have to stop.

Stop doing so much, stop trying to do so much, and stop believing you can do so much. It is possible to stop, but first you have to understand the importance of stopping. We are a nation of exhausted people. We have become a nation of overweight people, and now our children are becoming diabetic; we have high blood pressure, heart problems, insomnia and depression, these are not diagnoses that indicate healthful looks and vigor.

We don’t look good and we don’t feel good, and we will not live the long and happy lives that we are meant to live, if we don’t make some changes. We spend our time hurrying and scurrying, and trying to get more and more done. We are trying to pack more and more into each day. It is impossible to fit everything into a day that we want to, yet we stubbornly keep trying. The reality is we cannot do it all! So, we need to focus on what we really, really want to do. We need to prioritize our lives, not just the items on a to-do list. We need to concentrate on what truly will make us happy and healthy, those are the things we need to do well.

Take the time to think about this: Why is it so important to try to do so much? Isn’t it actually kind of silly that we work ourselves to the point where we cannot sleep, we are eating poorly, and we don’t exercise? We run around to activities and do tasks that add nothing of fulfillment to our lives! We don’t have time for what is truly important, our families, our friends, our rest and our health.

This could be the most cost effective, most economical way to look and feel great! So if this sounds good to you, STOP!

Diana Fletcher © 2009

Certified Life Coach, author, and speaker Diana Fletcher is The Stress Reducing Expert. She is a master at helping her clients and students reduce their stress and live healthier, more balanced lives.

For fun and easy ideas of how to improve your health and lower your stress level immediately, visit http://www.DianaFletcher.com and receive 25 Simple Tips to Reducing Stress, or register for one of Diana’s free monthly teleseminars today. For regular tips and information, read Diana’s blog at http://dianafletcher.wordpress.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Diana_Fletcher http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Surefire-Strategies-to-Look-and-Feel-Better&id=2532029

Michael Neill: The Seven Unexpected Keys to a Happy Marriage

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The Seven Unexpected Keys to a Happy Marriage

(Note: While these keys were originally identified in the context of marriage, they have been found equally valid in creating other forms of “long-term stable romantic relationships”. Stop snickering in the back of the class…

If I ask you to imagine a laboratory, chances are you will envision long granite tables, bunsen burners, test tubes, and white coated technicians. But the laboratory set up by Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington to study marriage and what makes a long-term romantic relationship sustainable is a little bit different.

Essentially, Dr. Gottman’s lab is a comfortable apartment (with one way mirrors!) where couples interact for 12 hours a day over the course of a weekend. After studying hundreds of couples in both the “apartment lab” and a more traditional facility which has become affectionately known as “the love lab”, Dr. Gottman has a 90% accuracy rate in predicting divorce!

Fortunately, he has also turned his hand to identifying what makes successful marriages work, and has identified seven key traits of a happy marriage. While one or two of these may fall under the category of “duh” (key number 7 could essentially be translated as “say more nice things to each other”), many of them are surprising and remarkably easy to apply.

1. Seek Help Early

The average time a couple in distress waits before first seeking outside help is six years; 1/2 of the marriages which end do so in the first seven years.

Do the math, and if you need to, get outside help. In the UK, you might consider trying Relate (www.relate.org.uk); I was unable to find a centralised service in the US, but found some interesting resources at www.counseling.com.

2. Edit Yourself

Perhaps surprisingly, happy couples do not necessarily express everything they are feeling when they are feeling it, particularly when feeling anger.

This does not, however, have to lead to inauthenticity and partial communication. As my friends and fellow life coaches Scott Wintrip and Jay Perry say, you can learn to “say what you mean without saying it mean.”

3. Soften your “Start-Up”

One of the traits that has proved a reliable indicator of the state of a marriage is how quickly an argument starts up. If you and your partner can go from calm to at each others throats faster than a sports car goes from 0 to 60, take a look at what triggers the “explosions” and do what you can to build in a pause between stimulus and response.

(The value of “counting to 10″ before responding may seem to be an old wives’ tale, but perhaps it explains why the women who told them were still wives, even at their age…

4. Accept Influence

In what has to qualify as my wife’s favorite key, Gottman’s research shows that:

“A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife… A husband’s ability to be persuaded by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is so crucial because, research shows, women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband is able to do so as well.”

This isn’t to say that you need to become a doormat for the whims of your spouse, as is borne out by key number five…

5. Have High Standards

While the research has shown that “the lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road”, it’s not too late to raise the bar on your relationship.

If you want to find out more about setting and enforcing boundaries within a loving relationship, check out Stand Up for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson or for a specifically Christian perspective, Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

6. Learn to Repair and Exit the Argument

In the movie “Overboard“, spoiled heiress Goldie Hawn finds herself having to care for plumber Kurt Russell’s five sons. When he comes home and asks how her day went, she is only capable of uttering one word – “Erp!”. For several couples I know, the word “Erp!” has become their signal to one another that they have had enough (for the moment) and need a time out from even the most “productive” argument.

Set up a signal with your partner (possibly from a favorite comedy show or movie) that either of you can use to interrupt the pattern of an argument and give you both a chance to “go to the balcony” and re-evaluate the importance of what it is you are arguing about in the context of your relationship.

If it really matters, (and of course it occasionally does), you can re-start the discussion when you are feeling re-connected with one another.

7. Focus on the Bright Side

Stephen R. Covey talks about each partner in a relationship having an “emotional bank account”. Happy relationships are happy at least in part because both people’s emotional bank accounts are in credit.

Find out from your partner what constitutes a deposit (often kind words and supportive actions) and what constitutes a withdrawal. As a general rule, seek to make at least five deposits for every withdrawal, and be aware that if things haven’t been going well for a while, it may take some time for you to pay off your emotional overdraft!

Today’s Experiment:

A simple if not necessarily easy experiment today – discuss the seven keys with your partner! Listen to understand, speak to be understood, and come up with an action plan to implement the seven keys into your relationship, starting today.

For more information, (and some really fun self-tests!), visit www.gottman.com or check out The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Have fun, learn heaps, and if all else fails, just love them!

Afflink

The Difference Between Your Right and Left Neo-Cortex

You are a conversation – a mixture of what’s going on between six main minds that make up your totality.

Your six minds are your:

• Semantic Mind (your body)
• Ascending Reticular Activation System (ARAS)
• Reptilian Mind
• Limbic/Mammalian Mind (where your unconscious mainly lives)
• Left neo-cortex(logical mind)
• Right neo-cortex (pattern or picture mind).

In this video we look quite deeply at the difference between two of these minds:

• the left neo-cortex
• the right neo-cortex

I hope you never have to find out the difference between the two by going through what this lady has gone through – but she finds it fascinating!  There’s a real brain used here – you have been warned!  A humorous but very touching presentation I’ll remember for a long time to come.

How it feels to have a stroke

The Power of Negative Visualization – ETR post

“Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves.”

- Henry David Thoreau

The Power of Negative Visualization

By Alex Green

When Norman Vincent Peale wrote The Power of Positive Thinking 60 years ago, he received a stack of rejection slips from publishers.

Dejected, he threw the manuscript into the trash, forbidding his wife to remove it. She didn’t.

The next day, however, she took the manuscript, still inside the wastebasket, to a publisher who accepted it. The book became a foundation of the human potential movement, selling more than 20 million copies in 47 languages.

Much of Peale’s homespun advice sounds quaint or even amusing to us today. Still, the book did a good job of articulating a basic truth:

To a great extent, you create your world with your thoughts. Most personal achievements begin with an abiding faith that we can and will accomplish them.

Even realizing your goals, however, will not lead to lasting satisfaction. That’s because human wants are insatiable.

Most of us are trapped on what psychologists call thehedonic treadmill. We work to achieve what we desire. Those things satisfy us for a while, but we soon adapt to them and dissatisfaction returns. So next time, we set the bar a little higher…

Our lives can easily become a pastiche of unfulfilled desires. We yearn for a better-paying job, more recognition, greater social status, a newer car, a bigger house, a firmer abdomen, perhaps even a sexier spouse.

Dissatisfaction is not all bad, of course. Desire can motivate us to achieve good things in our lives, too.

But a continual sense of lack creates anxiety. It undermines our satisfaction. Peace of mind eludes us.

Fortunately, the ancient Stoic philosophers had a technique you can use to override the adaptation process and recapture the contentment we seek. It’s called negative visualization.

The technique is to spend some time each day imagining that you have lost the things you value most. Vividly imagine, for example, that your job has just been terminated, that your house – with all your possessions – has burned to the ground, that your partner has left you, or that you have lost your sight, your hearing, or the use of your limbs.

This sounds horribly bleak, I know. But the Stoics were onto something here. They understood that everything we enjoy in life is simply “on loan” to us from Fortune. Any of it – all of it – can be recalled without a moment’s notice.

Epictetus reminds us, for example, that our children have been given to us “for the present, not inseparably nor forever.” His advice: In the very act of kissing your child, silently reflect on the possibility that she could die tomorrow.

The Roman philosopher Seneca advises us to live each day as if it were our last, indeed as if this very moment were our last. He’s not suggesting that you drop your responsibilities and squander the day in frivolous or hedonistic activities. He’s encouraging you to change yourstate of mind.

Maybe you are already living the dream you once had for yourself.

Along the way, however, you became jaded, bored, numb to the blessings that surround you. The goal of the Stoics would be to wake you up, to make you appreciate what you have today.

Some will argue that negative visualization is fine for those who are happy, healthy, and prosperous – but how about the troubled, the less fortunate?

Negative visualization works for them, too. If you have lost your job, imagine losing your possessions. If you have lost your possessions, imagine losing the people you love. If you have lost the people you love, imagine losing your health. If you have lost your health, imagine losing your life.

There is hardly a person alive who could not be worse off. That makes it hard to imagine someone who wouldn’t benefit from this technique.

Adaptation diminishes our enjoyment of the world. Negative visualization brings it back.

It also prepares us for life’s inevitable setbacks. Survivors of tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters, for example, may suffer terribly. Yet afterward, they often tell us that they were just sleepwalking through life before. Now, they are joyously, thankfully alive.

No one should need a catastrophe to feel this way. You can attain the same realization through negative visualization. Moreover, it can be practiced regularly, so its beneficial effects, unlike a catastrophe, can last indefinitely.

Try it and you’ll see. I’ve found it’s perfect for when you’re standing in line or stuck in traffic, time that would be wasted otherwise.

By contemplating the impermanence of everything in your world, you can invest all your activities with more intensity, higher significance, greater awareness.

In sum, Norman Vincent Peale got it half-right. Positive visualization helps you get what you want. Negative visualization helps you want what you get.

[Ed. Note: Alex Green is Investment Director and Chairman of The Oxford Club, and is the bestselling author of The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters. His new book - described by Michael Masterson as "shockingly good" - explores money, meaning, and the pursuit of the good life. To pick up a copy, click here.]

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Books by Vincent Peale

Anxiety Reduction Technique – Get the Vacuum Cleaner Out

This is a specialised visualisation technique you can use (I describe another you can use in a previous post – Evaporating the Sherbert Dab – in this post).

Who will find this technique useful?  Anyone with an emotional state ‘approaching’ or who has gone through a systematic desensitisation process and is concerned the condition will return.

‘Getting the vacuum cleaner out’ is useful when you’re just starting to feel the  nip of an emotional discharge biting at your conscious mind and you start to think ‘oh no, I’m starting to feel … (insert whatever feeling it is) again’.

OK, here’s the technique:

Imagine you’ve got a vacuum cleaner inside of you (if you’ve got a real one inside of you get the doctor’s immediately – this is an imaginary vacuum cleaner – do not try to practice this in reality – it is a visualisation technique that involves, mainly, the ARAS (your Ascending Reticular Activation System), your right neo-cortex (your patterning mind) and your Semantic Mind (your body).  It doesn’t involve a real vacuum cleaner.  Phew.  I’m glad we got that straight.  Oh, and if you have a phobia of vacuum cleaners you may want to try working with an imaginary brush and dustpan instead.

OK, so as soon as you feel the slightest bit of anxiety or whatever emotion it is, you get the imaginary vacuum cleaner out.

Create a quiet space in your day for some alone time and go through your body and mind with the vacuum cleaner looking for any spots of ‘emotional dust’.

If you are able to use the imagery gained from the ’sherbert dab’ post I’ve linked to above you can imagine yourself vacuuming up sherbert dab.  By the way, the ‘Evaporating Sherbert Dab’ technique is for intense emotional blockages, the Vacuum Cleaner is for the fainter emotional sensations.

Spend some time searching and whenever you find a pocket of anxiety – suck it in.  Feel it, experience it, acknowledge it.  Keep ‘vacuuming’ it in and eventually it will be gone.

If you’re ‘vacuuming’ an unpleasant set of mixed emotional responses keep sucking them in until you’ve experienced the ‘knuckles and bones’ of the emotions and eventually they will fade.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ‘Get the Vacuum Cleaner Out’ technique.  Any questions or comments?  Nooooo-oooooooo … don’t forget under the coffee table …

Regards – Carl